I must rant a bit about how the start to this school year has been so not what we expected, and how our education system is being backed into a corner by a society with great demands but little involvement.
Having endured two years of trying to keep Andrew (no diagnosed special needs) from being kicked out of school for behavior problems (kindergarten and first grade, mind you) we introduced Brandon and Tracy to the school (our home school) this year. Brandon came from a year in a private pre-school program and Tracy transferred in from a special day class for severely disabled at another school in our district (requiring that he be bused) and where we were required to place him when we got him due to a misdiagnosis of Intellectual Disability. I was dreading the start of school, expecting trouble, times three, but Andrew has completely turned around and has become a superstar in his class. He's happier and more confident since the adoption was finalized in April, the proper medication levels were achieved, and the three week cross country trip we took to introduce them to family back east over the summer. Brandon wobbled into kindergarten but has been improving as we've found the right medication and dosage for his ADHD meds. Tracy seemed to LOVE his new school, and all seemed right with his world. Adoption, trip, meds, love, and good boundaries have given all of them the confidence and security they so desperately needed. Ahhhh, exhale!
Not so fast!!! Last night JT and I sent a letter to the Principal at the boys' school insisting that Tracy be accommodated immediately in another classroom, and this morning I'm happy to report that he's been moved.
At the end of last school year we fought to have Tracy placed at our school into a higher functioning classroom in order to challenge his obvious academic abilities. The problem with this, we discovered, is that with higher functioning came kids with emotional disabilities commingled with kids with slight learning disabilities, high functioning autism, etc. For the first few weeks Tracy seemed happy, though the lack of communication from his teacher (including NO homework) raised some red flags. I was made aware of an incident where one kid (HUGE for a boy 10 years old) had had a violent outburst that included him throwing furniture and slightly striking Tracy (and scaring the crap out of him). But Tracy wasn't deterred and I was assured that this kid was on the school's radar and would be dealt with, although certain procedures and steps had to be followed since he was considered special needs.
When I attended the school's "Jog-a-thon" in September I met Tracy's classmates (12 boys, including Mr. Violent, and 1 girl) and red flags started really going off. There were 4 or 5 really troubled kids swearing, challenging each other, disrespecting the teacher and the teacher's aide, and generally presenting themselves as thugs. I immediately made arrangements with the teacher to spend time in the classroom (the school had asked that parents wait several weeks before coming into classes to allow teachers time to establish their routines and authority). What I observed gave me chills. The class was stereotypically in chaos, with kids throwing things, calling each other out, and disrespecting the teacher. JT and I immediately requested a meeting with the Principal and asked that Tracy be moved. The teacher attended the meeting, we went over our concerns, and after hearing what the Principal and Teacher had to say we agreed to give them a month to make some changes and deal with the troublemakers.
I committed to spending time in Tracy's classroom on Monday and Friday mornings I (also spend time volunteering in the other boys' classrooms) and frankly did not see a lot of improvement in the first couple of weeks, although things were a bit more subdued when Mr. Violent was absent. Some of the other boys who were prone to acting out were initially very resistant to my trying to help them with their work, but I was able to break through with a couple and I hoped my presence would provide some positives for the class. Two weeks down, two to go.
A new wrinkle appeared this week when we learned that the lone girl in Tracy's class "liked" him and they were seen kissing and touching inappropriately at lunch (and being egged on by the other kids), and having seen little improvement addressing our concerns the past few weeks we considered moving him. Yesterday, before we'd made a decision, another uncontolled outburst from Mr. Violent resulted in one of Tracy's classmates being hit in the face (requiring ice at the office) and the class erupting into anarchy. That was enough for us and we demanded that Tracy be moved.
The really sad part of all of this is that this doesn't address or begin to solve the problems that exist in that classroom, and many others like it. All kids are legally entitled to an education, even the troubled kids, and the school must find a way to accommodate them. JT and I asked ourselves "what if the violent kid was our kid?" and didn't have a good answer as to what we would do. The school's hands are tied to an extent because our special needs kids are legally entitled to a public school education just like everyone else.
The larger issues, however, seem to be the lack of parent involvement, and society's unwillingness to face and deal with the needs of kids/people with disabilities. When the new principal was introduced to the school last spring, we were one of only THREE families who attended the evening meeting. We are in a school of 800+ students and there were only three families present!!! We live in a middle class district and there are many parents with crazy work schedules, and single parents of course, but only three families? And what about our society as a whole? We as a society have to decide, and hopefully soon, that our children are our top priority and their education is vital to their success, and society's collective success. We can't just ship our kids off to school and say "educate them." They are OUR children, all of ours, and at the very least we must participate in their education and, ideally, advocate for them. They are our future.
