So here we are, an average middle-aged gay couple in a long term relationship (13 years - there's no significance to that number, or is there?) about to lay eyes on the three little brothers that we've inquired about. We found them in our adoption agency's "catalog" as well as on the California Kids Connection website. They were also among the "un-adoptable" kids featured by Wendy's Wonderful Kids. When I first spoke with the WWK recruiter she more or less brushed me off, even snickering a little at my assertion that our backgrounds would provide a great source of support for us in dealing with the boys. To be fair, she had not read our home study at this point, these guys had had only ONE inquiry in almost 3 years and that (young) couple didn't last 30 minutes with them before they told the social worker that they wouldn't be able to handle the boys. After some insistence on our part the plan was for us to meet the boys, spend some time a couple of evenings a week with them if we wanted to proceed, then move up to overnight stays, and eventually permanent placement.
We met our WWK recruiter at a McDonald's Playspace near where the boys lived a few minutes before they were to arrive with their foster parents. We watched as they came in and ran straight for the play space while the foster parents made little effort to supervise while the food was ordered. After their food was brought in the WWK recruiter introduced us to them and we immediately felt a connection. They were very curious and engaged us right away. At the same time we were put off by the very strange behaviors of the foster parents, who kind of creeped us out, and we watched as the foster mom sat at the table barking commands while the boys paid absolutely no attention to her. The boys were out of control and had no boundaries, but they were clearly craving love. When AH and I got in the car we looked at each other and, knowing that we couldn't leave them in the situation they were in, said almost simultaneously "these are our kids."
Our first outing was two days later, on September 30th, 2013. We went to a great kid friendly park near downtown, followed by pizza at one of our favorite pizza places. It was awkward, and the kids' interest seemed to be only in what toys, etc. they could get from us. Our second outing was two days later to the same park (they insisted) and they were much more out of control this time. I managed to break my foot while chasing our youngest, who was three at the time, and it was then that I started really seeing the storm clouds on the horizon.
We quickly moved on to the overnight stays and in anticipation put away anything in the house that we didn't want to have broken, or so we thought. Within 5 minutes of their arrival (they were dropped off by the foster parents) they were running through the living room and knocked over a lamp that held deep sentimental value. It smashed to pieces on the floor and I stood for a second looking at it, then looked at the boys, and realized that stuff was stuff and nothing was more precious than these little lives that we were committing to.
The Tornadoes had arrived!
a rocky start, and yet you persisted. you saw the extreme need these brothers had for a forever family. what gave you the confidence that you could help these boys? i know from personal experience that they tug on your heartstrings (they do on mine), but really, how in the world did you know you could give them what the need? Don't get me wrong, I know you were correct, but jaysus you were brave. More power to you.
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